Insights
Reflections, essays, and resources from the practice — on mindfulness, couples, men’s mental health, parenting, and the patterns that shape our lives.
Getting married requires the setting up of a system of mutual acceptable solutions to the problems of living together. Each partner comes from a different family regulated by a different storehouse of solutions to the stresses and common problems of living. These preexisting solutions inevitably enter into the building of the new system, conditioning it…
We tend to trust what goes on in our brains. After all, if you can’t trust your own brain, what can you trust? Generally, this is a good thing – our brain has been wired to alert us to danger, attract us to potential mates, and find solutions to the problems we encounter every day.…
What can make a marriage work is surprisingly simple says relationship expert John Gottman. Happily married couples aren’t smarter, richer, or more psychologically astute than others. But in their day to day lives, they have hit upon a dynamic that keeps their negative thoughts and feelings about each other (which all couples have) from overwhelming…
One of the most inspiring moments for me this past year was attending a solar eclipse gathering in Oregon. The total eclipse was breathtaking. I know you’ve seen photos of it, but to actually see it with your own naked eye is just mind-boggling; it’s incredible. A complete sense of “awe” washed over me. I…
Bad things are going to happen. Your tomatoes will grow a fungus and your cat will get run over. Someone will leave the bag with the ice cream melting in the car and throw your blue cashmere sweater in the drier. Your husband will sleep with a girl your daughter’s age, her breasts spilling out…