How Healthy Relationships Change Our Brains

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We are much more interconnected than we realize. As technology advances and we are able to actually see into the human brain, we now have proof of this. These are exciting times in the fields of psychology and mental health.

Psychologist and relationship expert Susan Johnson, in a collaboration with neuroscientist James Coan, published a study on how the quality of one’s romantic relationship has a direct effect on how the brain responds to fear and pain. The study demonstrated how a type of couples therapy called Emotionally Focused Therapy can actually change partners’ brains as a result.

The Experiment – Phase One:  Before Emotionally Focused Therapy

The experiment involved placing an unhappily married woman in an fMRI machine. She was told that she would be given a shock to her foot when she saw an “x” on the screen. Understandably, when she saw the “x,” researchers noted that her brain lit up with all kinds of fear and pain. She reported that the shock hurt. She then held the hand of a stranger, and had the same response – she was scared and it hurt. She then held the hand of her husband, whom she probably wasn’t too fond of at the time; she again experienced fear and pain, consistent with the fMRI. No change.

The Experiment – Phase Two:  After Emotionally Focused Therapy

The couples who went through phase one worked on their marriages with an Emotionally Focused Therapist (EFT). EFT has been demonstrated consistently in the research to have higher than a 70 percent success rate with couples in distress. After these couples went through EFT, the wives again went through the experiment. The results were notable.

When the woman was alone in the fMRI machine, she again felt fear and pain and the fMRI showed her brain responding as such. When she held the hand of a stranger, the response wasn’t as strong, but was still present. After EFT couples therapy, she held the hand of her husband and received the shock again. Her response was profoundly calmed. The fMRI demonstrated relatively little fear response, and she denied feeling nearly as much pain, she merely thought the shock was uncomfortable.

The results and their implications

The implication of this study is that healthy relationships literally soothe our brains. This study is but one piece of evidence about how our mammalian brains are wired to connect with one another to face the trauma and difficulties of life. We are much better off going at life together than alone. Creating secure bonds and staying connected is how we as a species evolved, and how we will continue to.

“Love is a safety cue that literally calms and comforts the neurons in our brain,” S. Johnson

EFT is one of the most evidence-backed forms of couples therapy. In this study, Johnson demonstrates how it can help literally create physical changes in partners’ brains once relationships are repaired.

To see Sue explaining her study, watch this YouTube video.

“We all fear facing life alone, and we all yearn for loving connection,” Sue Johnson.

Sources

Byrne, M., Carr, A., & Clark, M. (2004). The efficacy of behavioral couples therapy and
emotionally focused therapy for couple distress. Contemporary Family Therapy:
An International Journal
, 26, 361-387

Johnson, S., Moser, M., Beckes L., Smith A., Dalgleish T., et al. (2013) Soothing the Threatened Brain: Leveraging Contact Comfort with Emotionally Focused TherapyPLoS ONE 8(11): e79314.

Johnson, S., Hunsley, J., Greenberg, L. & Schindler, D. (1999) Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy: Status & challenges (A meta-analysis). Journal of Clinical PsychologyScience and Practice, 6,67-79.

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